Changing Seasons

I am definitely not a hot weather person.  My lungs don't like to cooperate and I always seem to find something that triggers my allergies when its warm.  This summer has been no exception.  Although we did go on a vacation in the beginning of June, I feel like I haven't done many "summer-y" activities.  Sure we've been to a few bbq's and sat in our (thankfully) air conditioned home.  But I tend to stay indoors in the humidity unless I can sit on a beach or live in the water.  I have not been to any local beaches (Cape Cod is usually my favorite, or New Hampshire) which I typically treasure those times.  I have many memories as a child of packing up for the day and going to sit on the beach, play in the water, dig in the sand.  It was a part of my summer.  Of course now, I work and planning ahead for a day at the beach isn't always on my agenda.  I don't have my parents to carry the heavy cooler or make my sandwich.  ;)  This (past) summer my Sunday's consisted of cleaning the house, napping and hanging out close to home.  I guess this is all part of growing up, taking responsibility.  I would have loved the luxury of planning ahead, making sure I have sandwich meats in the house, and packing a lunch to the beach.  But I also know that if we went to the beach it would be a whole new set of exhausting for me…a long walk from the car carrying my gear.  If I had time to plan for the beach, it'd be less exhausting actually being there.  My work schedule doesn't exactly permit me to plan things in advance either so I am working on that.  Hopefully a somewhat new schedule with some weekends off is in my future

I am not saying I regret anything thats happened this summer…on another token it has been wonderfully warm, but not necessarily excruciatingly so.  Of course after last winter, I'd take anything.  Snow up to your shoulders will do that to ya.  No I am not ready for summer to be over, but I do enjoy the cool nights of fall and apple picking and pumpkin beer and cuddling under my handmade blankies. The changing seasons always seems to get me in a funk.  It's like I am ready to move on, but hesitant to do so.  I know the winter will bring me inside more so and even closer to home if I do have to go out.  I want summer to last just a little bit longer, I want to go to the beach again.  I want to do stuff outside.  I don't want to be stuck inside for a long cold winter.  I mean, last winter was like yesterday, right?!  I think thats why I am struggling so much more with this change of seasons.  I know what comes after the Fall.  So no matter how much I tell myself, I love the fall, this year I am just seeing it as a stopover to what comes next.  Many people in my area have the same thoughts.  It.Snowed.So.Much. last year.

I even (dare I say) like the winter, love the snow.  But not so soon.  ha.  I guess the moral of this is that we don't know what comes next.  This winter could be drastically different.  Maybe it won't snow at all (ha, fat chance of that).  Maybe my life will slow down enough so that I can enjoy those quiet winter days with beautiful snow falling out my windows.  Maybe if all goes well, we will be celebrating a new blessing for next year, a new life.  I know many of my thoughts have been coming back to that lately…to fertility treatments, to pregnancy, to babies.  I am glad we finally have a road to travel and we are finally going to pursue treatments, but I am deathly afraid they won't work. And that my dears, is why the winter scares me.  Because some day, I will look back on that as the winter that either "it" worked or the winter that it didn't work.

Back to the Grind

Apparently its been a while since I posted!  Wooops!

Last time I posted that I had an awful week as far as exercise goes.  Well the last two weeks have been even worse…but for good reason.  Husband and I went on VACATION!!  We took a cruise to Bermuda.  It was fantastic.  There was only one day (the very first day at sea) that had bad weather, and bad sea sickness as a matter of fact.  It was lovely.  Actually, the seasickness wasn't too bad, it could have been worse, but I did definitely feel the 7-12 foot wave swells and just had to kind of lay low that day.

I think with the whole build up  to the vacation and then the actual vacation I was so exhausted/relaxed/happy that I didn't really feel like exercising.  I did not want to use the ship's gym because it probably rarely gets cleaned and the PT I've been working with was totally ok with that.  My plan was to maybe do some stuff in our cabin the week we were away, but that didn't happen.  The whole week prior to the cruise was spent getting ready, cleaning the house, doing all the laundry and packing…and then of course I couldn't contain my excitement.  So by the time we got on the cruise I was ready to chill and do nothing.  And relax.  Sit by the pool, sip a few drinks, eat a lot of food.  Honestly, I didn't feel like doing much else.  I don't know if this is a CF thing (as far as the exhaustion issues) or just a normal vacation reaction.  I don't necessarily regret the cruise, we are already talking about when we can go on another, but I wish we had participated more.  Gone to more shows, played more games.  But then again…we went on this vacation to sit in the sun and relax and eat good food (there is SOOOOOOO much food on these ships, OMG).  By the end of the day we were wiped out just from that, so we would go back to our cabin and sit on the patio enjoying the sounds, sights and smells of the ocean.  Or we would walk around on the top deck of the ship and enjoy the sunset.

But I need to get back to the gym.  That will happen today.  I promise.  After I go to the craft store, a very dangerous place if you ask me.  ;) I was going to go to the gym over the weekend (we came back early Friday morning), but again, I was still so exhausted and had more chores that needed doing.  I don't want to make excuses, but I need to make sure my body gets enough rest so that I don't end up getting sicker than I am.  I did come down with a cold on the cruise which is not surprising to me. There are 3,000 people aboard the ship and we did *gasp* eat the buffet several times for breakfast and lunch.  I tend to shy away from buffets because of the germs and dirty little hands that reach over the counter, but I couldn't really help it.  The buffet (and all other restaurants on the ship) were delicious and when you are sitting out by the pool its much easier to run into the buffet for a quick bite than to go back to your room, get dressed, and go to a sit down restaurant.  So anyway, I don't think the cold has gone to my lungs, but there is still a ton of drainage from my sinuses and a terrible post nasal drip type cough.  I have to call the clinic for a refill on something today, so I will run it by them on how to proceed with the symptoms.  Honestly, I think once I start exercising again it will get better.

I mentioned earlier that I have been meeting with a PT at my CF clinic.  I will blog in more detail the things we've been going over because I think it deserves its own post.  But if you have the opportunity to meet with a PT that specializes in CF Care, I'd HIGHLY recommend it.  He has been fantastic and really knows his stuff.  We are very lucky at my hospital to have him!

I will leave you with some of my favorite pictures from our week away.  And yes there will be dolphins.  :) They swam alongside our boat for a while on our very last day at sea!  Pretty exciting!

This was our last sunset in the port in Bermuda. We had one more full day (we left at 5 pm, so we missed that sunset).  *sigh* It was just stunningly gorgeous!

The view from our room while we were cruising.  I seriously could sit and watch and listen to the ocean all day.  I am definitely an ocean lover.

Pulling into port.  I believe we circled the island so that we could get some pics. It looks stormy in this shot, but it actually turned out to be a really nice day later on.  We docked around 11 am and I think by 1 pm it was sunny and warm.

We went on a wheelchair accessible bus tour.  Unfortunately, we didn't really have time to make many stops, but the tour was definitely worthwhile.  We got to learn a lot about the architecture, history and the beautiful beaches.  This beach was also down a large hill, so would have been inaccessible for a wheelchair.  There was a small accessible beach near the dock that we went to one day also.

Eeeeeekkk!!!  <3 <3 <3  

A gorgeous sunrise from our balcony.  As you can see, the seas were very calm when this shot was taken.